Here is the first post in my blog dedicated to music discussion, review, and criticism. Enjoy!
There's been a lot of talk about the new "We Are the World" video. For those that grew up when the '85 version came out, the reaction seems to be largely negative. While there were a number of things I did not like about the 2010 version, I actually enjoyed much of it.
A lot of criticism comes from taste. Some vocalists that are classically trained tend to cringe anytime they hear a belter or rocker, so they instantly discard the performance without truly 'hearing' any of it. They don't realize this is parallel with folks that change the channel the moment they hear an opera singer. Genre preference is also an issue. Some people hate rap, some hate country, some hate classical, etc. Some hate the Jonas Brothers, but did you see their performance with Stevie Wonder at the 2009 Grammys? Taylor Swift has been a popular punching bag of late (and rightly so) but did everyone forget her performance with Miley Cyrus at the *2009* Grammys? Dionne Warwick and Kenny Rogers might be their own punchlines today, but they were major artists in their time. With apologies to all of my friends who are classical vocalists, Josh Groban actually brings something to the table that people enjoy, and his performance at the 2008 Emmys addresses this issue better than my words ever could. (YouTube it, it's worth it.)
Age is a factor as well. It seems that every generation has their crotchety, "back in my day..." rant. Parents in the 50's complained about Rock; parents in the 60's complained about Psychedelia, parents in the 70's complained about Disco, parents in the 80’s complained about Madonna, parents in the 90’s complained about Rap… my contemporaries now complain about auto-tune. (My complaint with auto-tune is with quantity/quality, not with its existence.) For those who grew up in the 80's: there was plenty of silly-ass music that you LOVED listening to. "Walking On Sunshine?" "Safety Dance?" "Electric Avenue?" I could go on for ages. T-Pain and Miley Cyrus do not corner the market on this subject. (For the record, I have all of those tunes on my iPod.)
So, what happens if you actually size the two videos up, back to back? I decided to see what happened if you pitted the videos against each other, artist for artist. I'm a fan, critic, and performer of all of the genres involved, and think I can bring a neutral but humorous perspective to this comparison.
The rules are simple: each unique artist feature will be compared with the same snippet from the opposing video. Most incidental riffs are listed and included, with a few exceptions from 2010 that weren't substantial enough to include in the tally. The judging will be based upon performance quality and artistic contribution, *not* on reputation or stature. Absolutely no draws (no matter how painful that may be) and all decisions are final. Away we go!
Lionel Richie vs. Justin Bieber. Really? 1-0, and a horrible choice to begin 2010. If this were a race, it would be the equivalent of tripping over your shoelaces at the start, tumbling ass over teakettle, and straddling the nearest utility pole with your scrotum. No wonder so many folks dislike the new version.
Stevie Wonder & Richie vs. Nicole Scherzinger & Jennifer Hudson. This would have been closer if Bieber wasn't singing along. 2-0
Wonder vs. Hudson. This one is close, but Wonder rocks/leans/lurches to the right at the finish line to edge out Hudson. 3-0
Paul Simon vs. Jennifer Nettles. Jennifer who? (She's the lead singer of Sugarland, if you were wondering.) 4-0
Kenny Rogers & Simon vs. Josh Groban & Nettles. Close, but...5-0
Kenny Rogers vs. Josh Groban. For those who think Groban should win this one: he just copied what Rogers did, only lamer. And squarer. 6-0
James Ingram vs. Tony Bennett. Yikes...it takes effort to make Tony Bennett sound uncool. 7-0. This is getting ugly.
Tina Turner vs. Mary J. Blige. Some folks might hate me for this; blame whoever decided to put Tina in the basement of her range. Mary J by a mile. 7-1, and 2010 is on the board!
Billy Joel vs. Mary J. Blige. Somehow, Billy brought more soul to this battle? 8-1, and I love Mary J.
Michael Jackson vs. Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson. Perhaps the sound mixer is trying to revive the rumor that Janet & Michael are the same person, as you can't hear her voice at all. (Well, to be more specific: the clip is so overmixed and overproduced that the two voices are not distinct, and the layman’s ear will not hear her at all.) Plus, she lip-synched at every MJ tribute, including the Grammys, which deserves a negative point if it were in the rules. 9-1
Diana Ross vs. Barbra Streisand. This is closer than some people might think. Babs loses by trying just a bit too hard. 10-1.
Dionne Warwick vs. Miley Cyrus. Forget the bad press, but Miley can actually sing (when she’s not lip synching.) Little Achy Breaky actually had a chance to win, but not by copying Dionne. Put your phone down- no psychic required to predict who wins this one. 11-1.
Willie Nelson (& Warwick) vs. Enrique Iglesias. It pains me to do this, as Iglesias is a running joke in the music world, but Willie blew his entrance! 11-2.
Willie Nelson vs. Celine Dion (i think?) I love Willie's spin on this, but Celine wins. Celine haters can go away now. 11-3.
Al Jarreau vs. Jamie Foxx. For those that have seen the "making of" videos, Al was never able to harness his riffs, which led to the boring clip that made the cut. Also, Foxx brings it. Four in a row for the new guys! 11-4
Bruce Springsteen vs. Wyclef Jean. Without a doubt, the former/current/former-again Fugee delivers the most self-serving, arrogant solo from either video. PS: when are you going to explain how so much of your organization's money went into your pockets, Wyclef? PPS: Thanks for finally getting around to filing a few years worth of tax returns. PPPS: Thanks in advance for filing the rest of them in the near future. (For anyone who is curious about details, check out thesmokinggun for more info.)12-4
Kenny Loggins vs. Adam Levine. Loggins gets Footloose at the end with an effeminate ending. 12-5.
Steve Perry vs. Pink. Tightest contest so far. This is going to hurt, but I'm going to err on the side *against* my personal biases (sorry Steve.) 12-6.
Daryl Hall vs. BeBe Winans. It's a shame so few people know who BeBe Winans is! Props to the 2010 producers for using at least (or only?) one soloist who isn’t a prop for the record companies 12-7
Michael Jackson vs. Michael Jackson. Blame the 2010 sound mixer/producer again. 13-7.
Huey Lewis vs. Usher. I love Usher, but he's up against one of the most iconic solos from “We Are the World.” If he would have brought his A-game, he might have won, but...14-7.
Cyndi Lauper vs. Celine Dion (with Orianthi on guitar). Celine's up against the *other* iconic solo from “We Are the World.” Plus, Lionel had to coach/conduct you? Really? Orianthi (who?) brings nothing to the table to assist. 15-7.
Kim Carnes vs. Celine Dion. It's only two words, but it counts. Carnes wins by an upper neighbor. 16-7.
Lewis, Lauper, & Carnes vs. Fergie & Dion. Not as big of a mismatch as some might think, but Lewis' F# gives context & foundation to Lauper's riff. (Oops, went into analyst mode.) Now for some math: Celine copying Cyndi < Cyndi. Perhaps having Orianthi (who?) in the mix might have given the new folks a better chance? 17-7.
Here's where the judging gets interesting. The 2010 version has 7 choruses, each with a plethora of soloists. There's also a rap break in the middle. The original version has 8 choruses (the 9th fades out), but 2 have no soloists, and 2 use duplicate soloists from earlier choruses. So, we can't match up chorus vs. chorus, but we also shouldn't penalize 2010 for more creativity/ingenuity/artists. So, here's how the scoring will work: Each chorus will be awarded 1 point for each artist that makes a distinctively positive difference to the chorus, with a 3-point maximum for each chorus. This gives 2010 the chance for a comeback! If you don't like the scoring system, go away and do your own. I'll keep the chorus scores separate for clarity's sake. Here we go!
1985 1st chorus: no soloists, still 17-7.
2010 1st Chorus: Nicole Scherzinger, Nick Jonas, Toni Braxton, and Mary Mary. I like how they bring this chorus down a bit. Nicole is fine, Nick was used about as badly as was possible in that spot, and Toni sings about "you and May" even though it is February. (The word is “me,” hon, as it was supposed to be in all of your hits in the 90’s.) It’s a bad sign when the choir is far more compelling than your soloists! Mary Mary saves this chorus at the end. +1, which makes it 17 to 7(+1)
1985 2nd chorus: Bob Dylan! This was the most debated, divisive solo from ’85. The rehearsal video for this is one of the funniest things ever. Poor Bob is surrounded by rockers and soul singers singing in octaves he’s never heard before! (The melody is supposed to be sung where?) In the end, Quincy & Lionel probably wrote a whole-note E and said, “Sing any notes around here, Bob.” It's endearing and distinctive, though, so +1. 17(+1) to 7(+1)
2010 2nd chorus: Mary Mary, Isaac Slade, Tony Bennett, Toni Braxton, Lil' Wayne, Carlos Santana (on guitar,) Usher. Tony & Toni do much better here than they did on their previous features, but not enough for a point. Isaac Slade (who?) is from the group The Fray (who?) who sing the song "How to Save a Life" (Oh!) Lil' Wayne was obviously chosen as the Bob Dylan for the 2010 rendition, which I think is fantastic (+1)...especially since their rehearsals were probably incredibly similar! Usher also gets a +1 for the best riff of this chorus. I’d love to give a -1 for completely wasting the appearance by Santana. 17(+1) to 7(+3)
1985 3rd chorus: Bob Dylan again. Alas, it's more of what we’ve already heard, but less. No points.
2010 3rd chorus: Pink, Mary Mary, Akon, Orianthi. Pink gets a +1, while Mary Mary & Orianthi don't quite do enough for a bonus. Akon was the 'original' Auto-Tune man, and this clip shows how it can be used without annoying the f**k out of people. +2! 17(+1) to 7(+5). 2010 puts on the accelerator!
1985 4th chorus: Ray Charles. Man, I'd give this two points if I could. 17(+2)-7(+5)
2010 4th chorus: T-Pain, Jamie Foxx (as Ray Charles.) T-Pain haters can skip this section. Yes, T-Pain's autotune might be played out, but (for better or worse) he changed the direction of the mainstream Rap & R&B worlds...or, at the very least, created a new sub-genre. Do you think Kanye ever dreamed he'd do a 'singing' album before T-Pain? (We'll leave the question of whether or not he should have for another time, though I think we can all agree his SNL appearance was a nightmare.) As for this clip, T-Pain is a little too square/safe for my tastes, but he still manages to squeak out a +1. +1 also for Foxx's good (but not great!) Ray Charles tribute, and I'd even give a +1 for the look Jennifer Hudson gave him (before smiling) if I could. As it stands: 17(+2) to 7(+7)
1985 5th chorus: Stevie Wonder & Bruce Springsteen. Yes. 17(+4) to 7(+7)
2010 Rap Break: Will.i.am & LL Cool J are the only ones you distinctively hear, so they are the only ones eligible for points. This SHOULD have been epic. The possibilities were endless, and the talent pool was amazing. Give LL a line, give Busta a line, give Snoop a line, etc etc...and let each of them write their own verse. Instead, we get yet another lame, square rap verse by Will.i.am. Go ahead and listen to every rap he's ever done with the Black Eyed Peas- any of them could fit here, as they all sound the same. An anonymous source actually sent me the secret, patented Will.i.am composition process: Do the same rap rhythm every two bars. Over and over again. For 4 minutes. Instant hit! Someone will eventually teach him about syncopation and inflection...hopefully. (Luda? Busta? J? Anyone?) +1 to LL for giving this bland verse some semblance of style, though I should DQ the 2010 version entirely for this massive waste of talent.17(+4) to 7(+8)
2010 5th chorus: Jennifer Hudson, Pink (with a small riff), Mary Mary. +1 for Hudson, of course. 17(+4) to 7(+8)
1985 6th chorus: Stevie Wonder & Bruce Springsteen (again.) Stevie gets a huge +1 for his riffs in the first half. The second half of this chorus is the only time I've seen Bruce nervous. A new analogy coming to an SAT test center near you:
Bruce : Sheet Music :: Deer : Headlights. No points for him this time around. 17(+5) to 7(+8)
2010 6th Chorus: Kanye West, Wyclef, Will.i.am. In a big shock, a rap full of eighth-notes, no syncopation, and no originality from Will.i.am. Kanye didn't do quite enough for the +1. Wyclef's declamations work a lot better here, though, so he earns the +1 as a huge show of fairness from the Russian Judge. 17(+5) to 7(+9)
1985 7th chorus: No solos. Man, does their chorus sound good.
2010 7th chorus: Mary Mary, Wyclef. Mary Mary needed one more lick for the +1. No surprise that Wyclef's pronunciation of Haiti begins with "I." No points.
1985 8th chorus: James Ingram & Ray Charles. Two easy points at the finish line.
Final score: 17(+7) to 7(+9), or 24-16.
So, there you go. The use of star power in the 2010 version leads to a higher score in the chorus section, but the strength and artistry of ’85 leads to a blowout in the verses (though some of the races were incredibly tight.) Why the strong reaction against 2010? First impressions are huge, and this imbalance between the videos is why so many people are reacting so negatively. Using Justin Bieber, arguably the least-respected performer in the 2010 lineup, as the opening vocalist was a particularly bad idea. Not to crack on Bieber too much, as I’ve never had the chance to hear him live…but that’s only because he lip-synched on both TV performances that I saw him (crack!). By contrast, Lionel Richie sang live for an early-morning TV show in Japan in October 2009. (He was certainly the last person I was expecting to see on Japanese TV!) Look at the recent 2010 Olympic opening ceremonies: KD Lang, Sarah McLachlan, and Measha Brueggergosman sang live, while Bryan Adams and Nelly Furtado did not. Yes, singing in a huge stadium is hard, but that’s what separates the real artists from…well, you can fill in the rest.
Also, the producers of 2010 made a point of not using anyone from the ’85 cast (except for Lionel himself, of course) but then they mimic many of the solos from ’85!! Those solos weren’t composed the way they were eventually sung, which is clear from the ’85 ‘making of’ video. Thus, the excuse of ‘looking to the future’ by using a completely new cast wears a little thin, as many of the new solo cuts are buried in the past. I also get the feeling that Lionel and Quincy aren’t really tapped in to the current popular music scene…in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t know the music of some of the artists they used! They obviously used Bieber to try and draw in the tween market, for instance, but I don’t think they could hum any of his tunes. Look at some of the artists who were in the choir but were not featured as soloists: India.Arie, Jason Mraz, Raphael Saadiq, Musiq Soulchild, and Rob Thomas! You can’t use everyone, but they used so many folks that I feel there were a few glaring omissions. There are other huge stumbles on the production side: Santana’s guitar solo was overproduced and lackluster; Tony Bennett’s first solo made him look out of place and out of style; Usher’s first solo didn’t come close to what he is capable of; the Rap break was one of the biggest missed musical opportunities in years.
Summary: 1985 wins. 2010 is marred by poor production and musical choices, but is still a great video. See you all again in 2035?
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